Saying good-bye to 2008

2008 was a good year. It treated us well. There were bumps and few sharp turns here and there, but overall, it was a good year. The year in review:

March 2008

• Robert would promote to Lieutenant, but at a station far from home.
• A dear friend would give birth to two precious baby boys at only 23 weeks gestation...and have to say good-bye to them all too quickly.

April 2008

• Juliana and Mia would both become very sick...Mia spending a week in the PICU for respiratory distress and pneumonia.
• Juliana and Mia would be baptized...finally!

May 2008

• We would raise $2000 for the March of Dimes, March for Babies as a family and nearly $6000 as the Mikels-Lewis team!

June 2008

• The girls would visit the beach for the first time and fall in love with it!

July 2008

• I would turn 34...yikes, just one year away from AMA!

August 2008

• I would go back to teaching Kindergarten...my first love.
• The girls would turn TWO! And Juliana would still be rear-facing at a whopping 19.5 pounds.

September 2008

• Robert would turn 43...ouch. He, he, he...

October 2008

• Robert would transfer to a station close to home.
• The two year insurance battle over the girls would come to a close.
• We would visit our RE and "talk" about TTC again...someday...maybe...no time soon...calm down people.

December 2008

• Robert and I would see Christmas through our children's eyes...and how amazing it was.

So we move on...on to 2009. While we were making dinner tonight, I made a rhetorical statement, really just thinking out loud, "I wonder what 2009 will bring for the Lewis family." I won't repeat what Robert said because it will get all of you riled up. I sit here and really, don't know. There's an air of excitement, of anticipation, and of well, yikes! I just know that a year can bring a lot--after all, it is a long time...12 months to be exact. I will turn 35...the girls will turn 3 and start preschool! We will say good-bye to diapers and hello to big girl panties. They will really be "big" girls this year.

I do know that whatever 2009 brings, you all will be there with us and us for you...He will be there in every moment, in every breath. We will grow in ways we never thought possible.

May your 2009 be filled with the blessings of happiness, hope, peace, and love. Happy New Year!

Christmas 2008

I have finally managed to upload more photos from that last few months. It's always drama and involves far too long. I don't really know why it takes so long (okay, that's a lie...it just might be 1500 photos on the memory card...I know, I know, I KNOW...I just can't bear to hit "delete" so they are all still there on the memory card, and on my laptop, and on my external drive, and on the desktop, and on DVDs...paranoid much?).

It has been so much fun to see Christmas through the girls' eyes. They don't get it all, but what they do get is absolutely priceless. We didn't do pics with Santa, maybe next year. Let's just say when Santa was at our mall, he didn't look well, like maybe he lost about 100 lbs. And his fluffy beard of white had turned a mysterious stringy grey. We thought the girls might be a bit much for Santa, so we simply waved from afar.

On Christmas Eve, we left sugar cookies the girls' made with Grandma on Santa's special red plate and a glass of cold milk in his special mug. We also left a napkin for him to wipe, wipe with. And just before bed, the girls, Grandma, and I went outside to sprinkle reindeer food on our grass for Santa's reindeer. Of course, we made sure to keep the Christmas lights on so Santa would find his way to our home.

In the morning, the girls came stumbling out with p's and animals in tow and Robert and I showed them the unwrapped gifts Santa had left by the tree...a basketball hoop and ball, an Elmo LIVE!, cars, and Little Einsteins figurines. The girls faces were just priceless and we were doing all we could to really encourage their wonder and excitement. Grandma and Grandpa came over a little later and showed them their stockings full of other gifts from Santa.

The afternoon was spent eating a wonderful early dinner with Grandma, Grandpa, Uncle Matt and Auntie Annie. Afterwards, we opened presents and the girls did really well. They lost a little steam half way through because they wanted so badly to play with each present and here we were, giving them another to open. Can I say, "toy overload?"

Once we were finished, we packed the girls up and headed to Auntie Mary and Uncle Darrel's house for desserts and more presents with the whole Lewis clan. The girls had a blast with cousin Jessica's Guitar Hero game...yes, they took turns sitting on her lap playing the drums while the other sang vocals. I wish I had pics of this...Robert's sisters do and I need to make sure to get them.

All in all, it was a wonderful day. Next year will be even more amazing as they really begin to understand the true meaning of Christmas.

Thankful

It is hard to imagine that the girls have been with us for 3 Christmas'...that it's really been that long. Before that, Robert and I shared 5 Christmas' as husband and wife--the first as newlyweds, hunting for a new home (which we would find that Christmas Eve) and the next four, wondering if the "next one" would be spent with a little one in our arms. Each year would be harder than the one before, yet one that would bring us closer together. From where I stand now, it's easy to look back on the journey and see it's perfect design. For this broken road we have traveled, I am so very grateful...it's strange, but true. I have learned so much and to take away even just the tiniest bit of it for an easier stretch of road, would not give me the perspective I have today on

marriage

children

family

friends

God

faith

hope

love

gratitude...

So tonight, I am ever so thankful for this life, for this road.

Christmastime

As a teacher, especially a kindergarten teacher, the last two weeks before our long 4 week winter break are more than crazy. We're making gifts for parents, gifts for the kids, doing our "Holidays Around the World" projects, and the list goes on and on and on and on! It's the most difficult time of year because you're so busy with work that you don't have time to focus on, uh, your own family and friends--at least until the day after school is out.

So yesterday, I fought the lines at the post office to mail off 100+ holiday cards...of which I am not too proud of or happy with. But alas, it's the thought that counts, right? They just didn't turn out like I had hoped...lesson learned that you get what you pay for. Got it. Again.

I went to TRU and talk about a zoo. I am a happy shopper (and a neat one too), so the chaos, the isles of messes, the angry people in line and throughout the store, made me so sad. I found myself cleaning up isles and trying to help lost grandparents and aunts/uncles who had no idea what to buy for a certain age. Oh, and I also did some shopping for the kids in our lives, family, friends and it was so much fun.

When I got home, it was tree decorating time. This year we bought a HUGE, 9 foot tree, and the fragrance throughout the house is just heavenly. We're not a "foo foo" tree family, but rather we put on the colored lights and practically every ornament is home-made, kid-made (from my brothers and I growing up), or friend-made...with a few Hallmark ornaments scattered throughout. But I love our tree...it's full of memories and while it will never be a themed tree or one you'd find in a Pottery Barn catalog, it's truly beautiful. And to make tree decorating even better, my brothers and sisters in law (no, Todd isn't married yet, but we're hopeful, hint, hint, hint) and parents helped to decorate the tree. Certainly a tradition we will carry on year after year. The girls' personalities really shone through...Juliana got right to work, picking up each ornament with care and then meticulously placing the ornament, both the ones with hooks and the ones with strings, ever so carefully on a tree branch. She'd stand back for a second to see if it was going to stay and then would go to get another...all business and precision. Then there's Mia. Oh, miss Mia. Mia's version of tree decorating includes a piece of Chi Chi's pizza in one hand, an ornament in the other, and the shove, pull, and run method...shove the ornament into the branches, pull an ornament or two OFF the tree, drop it, and run around eating her pizza. Yes, this is my dear sweet Mia, to a T.

After Robert placed the tree topper on top, we packed up the girls and headed to our old street to see the lights. We used to live on Wakefield Court, the most well-known street in the Santa Clarita valley, during the holiday season. After the 1994 earthquake, and living in our driveways for three days, the neighborhood really became a family. The following Christmas, the decorating was taken to a whole 'nuva levo. My dad and his friend Russ and our immediate neighbors started stringing lights from house to house. Then my mom bought these paper decals...huge life-size pictures of Santa, his reindeer, his sleigh, a snowman family, the whole nativity scene, and a family of carolers. My uncle provided plywood and these life-sized decals came to life in wood-cutouts and became the lawn art for a few houses. Then I enlisted the help of a few good friends with artistic abilities to help with painting oodles of snowman, and a BIG reindeer head. And so the tradition began and you should see the street now! It is always bittersweet going there, because there are so many memories and we are just "visitors" now. This year the big "fire-pit party" was at our old house. They remodeled and invited us in to see. The house looked amazing, almost unrecognizable downstairs, but as I glanced up stairs, I could see my room, my brother's room, the bathroom...and I couldn't help but smile. Good times. Only a handful of the original homeowners, the neighbors I grew up with, are still there, but it was so good to see everyone. It's very different where we live now...our neighbors are our neighbors, but not our friends really. Everyone lives so far apart and there are no kids the girls age...it's just different. That togetherness is missing, but the Barker-Lewis compound is all we need.

Today we are going to regroup and see what loose ends need tying up. The girls are sick, so they really shouldn't leave the house (not that it stopped us yesterday). Just a few more days til Christmas and I can't wait. Robert and I have to get our Santa game plan together...do we wrap Santa's gifts or not? Do we do the cookies and milk? Do we sprinkle reindeer food on the lawn? I don't know...but we need to figure it out quick!

Wishing you all wonderful last few days before Christmas...may it all get done in time!

A new day

So, the time has come for me to hold my own feet to fire and start being more consistent with posting. While I cannot guarantee anything, I hope to get on here a few times a week. We'll see how well that goes with the holiday season in full swing here. Amazingly enough, the house is clean...except for the office, which is really close. Mind you, this house hasn't looked like this in, um, let's see...2 1/2 years? Yikes...it's like we have been spinning our wheels for nearly 3 years and yes...there have been things...LOTS of them, too...more important than our house. So many things have just taken a back seat and rightly so. The first years are so important and obviously getting the girls here in the first place wasn't exactly a walk in the park. They have been our focus, first and foremost. Even my work no longer holds a candle to my girls. Let me think...grading homework or playing hide and seek with 2, two year olds that think they are "hiding" when they cover their eyes because, heck, if I can't see you, you obviously can't see me...right? That's the mind of a two year old...gotta' love it.

So the weeks to come are full of lots of parties, gift buying, card making, etc. Everything I love to do, but never have the time to. We have been in vacation mode with both Robert and I off for 10 days straight. It was a wonderful Thanksgiving break, spent with family and friends. Tomorrow, I go back to work...sigh. Robert went back tonight...sigh. It's going to be a hard day for all of us...best of luck to Grandma and Nana! Thankfully, being a teacher does have it's perks since I have just 3 weeks of work and then I am on vacation for 4 glorious weeks. So now, I am off to bed since I need be up far too early in the morning and am certain that although it is only 10:45 and I could feasibly get 7 hours of sleep, I am certain that it will look more like an hour here, and hour there...maybe a grand total of 3 or 4 hours of sleep with two restless little girls who miss their daddy so much on his first night away from them in what seems like forever. Wish me luck...

Too fast

I feel like we're on this bullet train of life...the girls are just growing up and becoming little girls, too fast. I want to slow it down, really, I want to stop it for a while to just enjoy this age. They are so much fun and provide non-stop entertainment.

The big things right now...dancing, talking, and helping. If music is playing, they stop...put their hands to their ears to "hear better," and start bouncing in their respective styles. Mia likes to peer over a shoulder as she bounces to the beat and Juliana likes to swing her arms and bounce a little deeper...but also to the beat.

Mia is my little parrot. Talk about watching what you say around this child! She literally repeats EVERY WORD you say...and then she remembers the new words and uses them on her own almost immediately. To think I was worried about her language development just two months ago is crazy if you heard her speaking now. Juliana is not as verbal...and why should she have to be when Mia is always talking! So the twin thing is affecting Juliana's language development a bit, but she's doing fine. Her pronunciation isn't great, but she's saying 2 and 3 word phrases...in other words, doing what she's supposed to be doing.

And then there's the helping. Juliana wants to help mommy and daddy with every single task. Mia, not as much, but if Juliana's doing it, then so is Mia. They love to help mommy with baking and daddy with cooking. Oh and they help daddy feed the doggies every night...carrying their dog bowls to the laundry room, helping scoop the food, and then placing the bowls on the stands. They are so proud of themselves, too.

So here we are...my babies are really gone. They lounge on the couch and their little PBK chairs like little girls. They tell me what they need, what is wrong, and what they want. There's no more guessing. My only snuggle time is during bedtime routines, when they lay their heads on my shoulders and we read our 4 books and sing our 4 songs...and then Mia rolls over and goes to sleep and Juliana tosses and turns and gets irritated if I play with her hair. Sigh...yes, my babies are gone. It does make me sad, but I really do love this age. My favorites so far? 3 months and 2 years.

I have far too may pictures to upload and no way of uploading them since the cord to do so has "disappeared." Last I saw it, was a couple months ago when Mia was wearing it like a necklace, or a "pretty," around the house. I am guessing you can buy these things, which is what I need to do desperately. You have to see these girls. They are just the cutest things ever! But for now, they are stuck in my camera. Hopefully you will get to see them soon!

Blink

It happens that fast. In a blink of an eye, life can, and does, turn on a dime. I have been watching and reading about the horrific Metrolink crash in Chatsworth and the devastation that hurricane Ike has left behind and am brought to tears thinking of how quickly peoples' lives have changed because of these two tragic events.

For too many people, their lives ended in a blink of an eye. They were unsuspecting, simply going about their daily lives, when it was brought to a tragic end. No good-byes, no preparation, no last words. These were husbands, wives, mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, friends, girlfriends, boyfriends and those who loved them are left to pick up the pieces and figure out how to live life without them, when instead, they should be enjoying the weekend together.

Blink...that fast, it all changed for these people. And it can for you, for me, any minute, any day.

Tonight I gave the girls baths and then got them ready for bed, as I do every night. As I was lathering them up with lotion, I stopped to really look at their sweet little hands and feet. I counted the silvery-white scars that stand out with their summer tans. Four on this hand, six on this foot, five on this ankle, three on the inside of this arm. They are the only visual physical reminders we have of the girls' early birth, of their daily struggle to live. For me, now more than ever, they are a reminder of the gift these two girls are...that every day of the last 748 days has been a gift. For all of us, each day that we are able to get up, breathe a breath of fresh air, kiss our loved ones, and LIVE...is a gift. Which is why I thank Him, tonight, and every night, for another day with my family, my friends, my loving husband, and my sweet little girls...and pray that He holds those people close, who have lost loved ones, and allows them to feel and know His loving embrace, now more than ever before.

2 year well-check

So the stats are in!

Juliana

19 lbs., 11 oz. - not yet on the chart...he, he, he!

32 3/4 in. - 23%ile for length

Mia

23 lbs., 13 oz. - 15%ile for weight!

33 1/2 in. - 42%ile for height!

It was a great well-check with Dr. Stern who just loves the girls! The family was in force...Grandma, Nana, Daddy, and Mommy! Everyone was commenting on the girls' entourage. I had to leave for Back to School Night from there and Robert had to leave for work, so we needed both grandmas just in case the appointment ran too long. There were hardly any tears at the appointment...in fact, they cried for less than 10 seconds after their shots. They were WAY more interested in their "new boo-boos" and their "boo-boo band-aids." Afterwards, mommy and daddy jetted out of there and Grandma met Grandpa for dinner with the girls. Today just made it official...they really aren't babies at all anymore...they are little girls growing up far too fast.

Happy 2nd Birthday Juliana and Mia!

So mommy is an hour and a half late, but I still had to post this before heading to bed...

To think that two whole years ago, you both entered this world, tiny as can be, struggling to survive...is just so hard to fathom looking at you both now! You are perfect in every way and have truly defied the odds. Each and every day I wake up and go to bed thanking God for my sweet girls...the greatest gift I have ever received (aside from Daddy).

I love you more than I could ever express in words and hope that one day you will understand and know this love.

And tonight, as I watch you sleeping so peacefully, I look forward to a lifetime with you both.

Love always,
Mommy

Just long enough

Two years ago today, at just 24 weeks, 5 days, I was admitted to the hospital for good after going home overnight after spending the two days prior in the hospital receiving the steroid shots for the girls' lungs...just in case. Ha, ha, ha. My cervix was gone...I was fighting off an infection...having contractions I couldn't feel...praying for time...for another hour, another day, another week, another month...so the babies could have a fighting chance at life. They were tiny still, just 1 lb. and change...I was so scared I wouldn't be able to give them the time they needed.

That night was especially hard...so hard. I cried, I prayed, I cried, I prayed, I cried while praying...begging, pleading that He give us more time. Until we changed cell phone carriers recently, I had saved a message from Robert that he left at 6:00am the following morning with Keedo and Kaiya barking their "hellos" in the background and his words, "We've been praying for you and the babies all night." You see, I made him go home that night, to be with the dogs, so he could get some good sleep and go to work the next morning. But still, I remember so vividly wanting him there, wishing he could hold my hand and tell me it was all going to be okay. So I cried. And every night for the next 3 weeks would be like that. I was like a ticking time bomb...at any moment things could change and the babies would have to be delivered...which is exactly what would happen...but thankfully, it happened almost 3 weeks later.

You'll have to bear with me...these next few weeks are full of emotions and memories and it's in the quiet of the night that they come flooding back. I remember it like it was just yesterday...each day, night, emotion, prayer forever etched in my mind. I don't ever want to forget any of it. And while much of it is painful, I want to remember that, too...because it was who we were and has shaped who we are today as parents. Nothing is taken for granted...every kiss/hug is met with a tear of joy...thank God we made it just long enough...

"You should be so proud..."

And proud we are...

...thankful,

...grateful,

...amazed at our two beautiful girls who have defied the odds and are truly little miracles, for more reasons than I can begin to list here.

Today the girls were assessed by one of their early intervention providers, Baby Steps. Two occupational therapists (who the girls' have never seen/met before) and a speech therapist (who assessed the girls when they were just 6 months old) assessed the girls. The occupational therapists spent about 1 hour with the girls and after a multitude of tasks in fine motor (small muscle) and gross motor (large muscle, movements), and sensory issues. The girls did great with them and were "performing" immediately...no crying, no hanging on to mommy and daddy for dear life. At the end of the OT assessment, it was determined they were performing at the 27 month age range for fine motor tasks (yes, twenty SEVEN months...they are only 23 months) and between 21-22 months for gross motor (running, jumping, balancing, etc.) which is why they receive physical therapy every week. So they are only 1 month behind in PT at most which falls in the normal range for so many typically developing, full-term children. They recommended a sensory/movement class for the girls, once per week. Both girls have some sensory issues (mostly tactile) and aren't big fans of messy hands or strange textures touching their feet. This class will work on that with lots of gooey tasks and lots of movement/gym like activities. And the best part? It is with a small group of kids, so socialization is built in and parents are welcome because they don't feel that any child that is 2 years old should be forced to "deal with their separation issues" when it's perfectly normal and most kids work through it on their own by the time they are 3...yes, THREE years old, not two. Gosh, I love these people!

The second assessment was done by a speech therapist who has loved the girls from day one. She was thrilled to see them again. Her assessment was VERY thorough and the girls did great. They were jabber-boxes for her and even were putting 2 words together! I was shocked. The therapist said she was being super stingy and strict with scoring, and the girls came out between 22-23 months in speech...with skills scattered all the way into the 33-36 month age range...I was FLOORED! For a child to receive early intervention services from the state, s/he must show a 33% delay...which would mean for the girls performing at the 15 month age range. She did recommend a communication class and said it would be perfect to help boost their language, but that she doubted they would qualify.

Basically, they are caught up in all areas...yes, ALL areas. The range of normal development is a couple months +/-, which is exactly where they are at. The therapists are all trying to get as many services for the girls as they can to help "finish" it off, but truthfully, they may not qualify...which is music to my ears. My little 2 pound miracles have come so far and yes, we are so very proud of them!

One month til 2!

Happy 23 months Juliana and Mia! Or as Mia would say, "Sissy and Mimi!"...or even the lastest attempt at Juliana, "Djoo-djoo and Mimi!" Juliana calls Mia "Mimi" but hasn't really attempted her own name yet...I don't blame her either, it's a tough one!

We had our final developmental assessment at the Glendale Memorial High-Risk Infant Clinic on July 24th and the girls did great. According to their assessment, the girls are completely caught up to their age in almost all developmental areas. What a blessing! I am thrilled, but also know it's just a brief evaluation and only a snapshot of where they are and what they are doing. I'm pretty confident their current therapists would agree that they are indeed very close to catching up and certainly within the range of typical development.

Then there is their speech development...we are way behind...they say they are at about 16-18 months. Oy. As if being 3 months early wasn't enough of a damper, they are twins to boot. Twins often have speech delays. Why? Because they speak "Juliana/Mia-ese" and understand each other perfectly...so what else matters in their world? They still try to do a lot of pointing and grunting, but we are always encouraging them to use their words. So, the delay wasn't news to us, in fact, we had already requested a speech eval from their current therapy provider. The girls have a great vocabulary and are trying to say almost any word you throw at them (especially 2-3 syllable words), BUT, they are not putting 2 and 3 words together in simple phrases...like, "Mommy want juice" or "I no go." The only 2 words they put together are repeated words like, "Bye-bye!", "No-no-no!" or "Hi mama/dada!" So we will pursue speech further and most likely speech therapy and communication classes will be added in the next month.

Juliana continue to hover below the chart for weight, weighing in at 19lbs., 10 oz. soakin' wet. If we allow for all her clothes, diaper, and shoes, she's close to 19 pounds probably) and Mia is following a nice curve ON the chart. She weighed 23lbs., 4 oz. WITH everything on, so we're guessing she's about 22.5 pounds.

It was hard to believe that was our last official visit with the Nurse Practioner from the NICU, Nurse Debbie. With all we went through, its so hard to just put "that" baby to bed, so to speak. I can't...I can't forget and part of me doesn't want to. I don't know why. It's who they are, who we were, it was our life...and I want to remember it all...even though it's so piecy now. I sat going through bins of clothes and was compelled to open their "preemie" bin...it's the only size I saved EVERY SINGLE outfit. I was amazed at how small, how tiny they were when they fit into those clothes...and to think that was when they were "big girls." Remember the 3 pound party and the 4 pound party? And now my two little preemies are running around like little girls...well, big girls...and it's just a miracle.

Juliana and Mia, mommy and daddy cannot wait to celebrate your 2nd birthday in just a month's time. Two years of life with our sweet baby girls. Mommy celebrated her 34th birthday yesterday and when daddy asked me what I wanted for my birthday in the weeks before it...all I could think was that greatest gift I ever received was you two...no gift will ever compare and every birthday I will forever rejoice in that gift. Your two little faces, four little hands, four little feet...the most amazing gift each and every day of my life. I love you my angels!

The rearview mirror

I know it sounds strange, but the rearview mirror in my car is more than just a rearview mirror. It is a reflection of my life. Even before I was married, I knew I wanted to have children. Whether it was driving "the boys" next door (who I helped watch for many years) or driving alone, I would often glance in the rearview mirror and imagine what life would be like with a backseat full of children. It was an attainable dream at the time, so looking in the mirror always left me looking forward to my future as a mother.

Over the years, the rearview mirror remained the same, but the reflection changed. With each month that passed while trying to have children, I started to resent the rearview mirror. For every glance was met with emptiness...no car seats, no booster seats, no toys...no children. Often I would look over my shoulder, dreaming of a full back seat, but again, seeing nothing there.

When we finally got pregnant with the girls, the reflection changed yet again. Two car seats were going to be there and it was almost unfathomable. Two car seats in MY backseat? When problems arose in the pregnancy, I feared my dreams of those two car seats would be shattered in an instant.

When the girls were born 3 months early, my fears continued. I was so worried about Juliana in the first few weeks, all I could think (and it seems superficial, but it was a defense mechanism) was, "but we have two car seats and we have a double stroller...we HAVE to have two children...it doesn't work without BOTH of them." The thought actually crossed my mind in the first 24 hours..."Lord, if you can't save Juliana, please take Mia with her so she won't be alone."

Months passed and the reflection in the rearview mirror changed once again. The girls were almost ready to come home and there they were...the two car seats gracing the outboard sides of my backseat. I can remember clearly the first time I drove somewhere with the car seats installed. I was in the garage, getting ready to leave to spend the day with the girls in the NICU. I glanced in the rearview mirror and saw the two car seats. I smiled, sat back and then turned around to get a better look at my new life, there in the back seat. I think I sat in the car staring at those two seats, crying for am almost 15 minutes before I managed to peel myself away from them and compose myself enough to drive to Burbank.

And then there were the girls' homecoming days...days where those car seats finally, after everything, were filled with two beautiful baby girls. The first time I drove the two of them somewhere, by myself, once again, I sat in the garage staring over my shoulder at my backseat. All I could see were four little feet stretching, flexing, curling from time to time....but they were my sweet girls' four little feet...MY own children.

Today the rearview mirror still gets me. Now that Mia is finally forward facing (Juliana still has 1.5 pounds to go), I can see her little face looking back at me and my heart just melts. I love the reflection in the mirror now, but will never forget the past. I am constantly looking in the backseat when fishing for shoes and sippie cups and making it a point to stop, stare, and thank the Lord for those two car seats. I am always brought to tears, if even for just a moment, because I remember and then I see my life today and simply am amazed that it is my life, with babies, with daughters, with children of my own.

The little things...

I think I am in complete denial...the girls are 22 months now and their 2nd birthday that seemed so far away is now less than 2 months away. I have decided that time is really not on our side and that it just seems to fly right past us. I feel like sometimes, it moves too quickly for us, for the girls...like we're here in this moment and I want to cherish it, revel in it, enjoy every bit of it...but there isn't the time to do that always. I'm always so worried I haven't captured enough memories on film or in a my journal because I'm trying to live those moments instead. What if I forget? What if it all passes by and I just can't remember the little things...

...like how Juliana taps her hand on the pillow, on the bed, and then on my arm, so gently, as she drifts off to sleep...

...or how she stands behind her sister, wrapping her arms around her, resting her head on Mia's shoulder while Mia rests her head on Juliana's...

...their cute little voices saying "animal"...

...Mia's giggle when being tickled...

...how they love to "sway" to slow music...

...what it's like to wake up to Mia laying on top of me (yes, sometimes I am so sound asleep I don't feel her climb into our bed and ON me)...

...snuggling with my girls and drifting off to sleep with two angels resting their little heads on my shoulders...

Juliana and Mia,
You two are the absolute light of our lives. We can't for the life of us imagine what life was like without you two here. What on earth did we do with all our time before? You seem to learn something new each day and never cease to bring a smile to our faces. We love you both more than words can ever demonstrate and hope that you come to know this love one day. Every day we look at you and see the answer to our prayers, a dream come to life, a wish my heart made over and over and over come true. Juliana, you are my littlest angel, and Mia, my sweet boo boo bear. We thank God each and every day for giving us the gift of you. Happy 22 months girls! With all our love,
Mommy and Daddy

Time for a change...

Yes, it's time. The girls' website will slowly be phased out over the next year. For a long while, I may cross-post so that the same entries appear in both places, but eventually, this will be our new home...our new way of keeping friends and family a part of our daily lives. I am trying to figure out how to incorporate a lot of the journal entries from the very beginning over here, to keep our journey intact, but we'll see how feasible that is. Oh and not to mention, how time consuming it might be...I don't know. So welcome to our new home and don't mind our "dust" while we construct this new blog.