11:17p.m.
My littlest angel would enter this world at 2 pounds, 2 ounces. I held my breath while I waited for her cries and though it was a very faint sound, it was her...crying with all her might. The words I had only dreamed of hearing, "It's a girl! Baby A is a girl!" resonated in my ears and tears began to fall. The reality of it all--of that fateful night in which a series of events would lead to the too soon birth of my babies--began to settle in.
After four and half years of waiting,
of trying,
of waiting some more,
and of hoping for a family to call our own...our prayers were answered and yes, the tears were flowing freely. But despite the emergent nature of it all, despite the surreal fact I was meeting my little ones far too early, there was still a smile on my face.
How could there not be? This was what I had wanted my whole life.
11:18p.m.
Baby B made her entrance at 2 pounds, 1 ounce and made her presence known with immediate cries. And while there were a few seconds of gender confusion, the words finally came "Baby B is a girl! Two girls!" At that point the tears were pouring, we were laughing, we were smiling...
And within seconds, they were running the girls to the NICU...literally. At that moment, the mother's instinct kicked in and all I wanted to know was how they were. What were their Apgars? Were they breathing? Were they going to live?
I have no pictures of their birth. And the one I miss the most? The one I should have...of me with my blue cap and drape, with daddy holding his two girls in his arms, by my face. It just was not to be.
The next day was a fog as I struggled to recover from the anesthesia for the next 12 hours...which was probably a good thing since Juliana was so unstable.
Still, I thank God for giving me those tiny moments of joy and magic amidst a night and early morning otherwise filled with worry, fear, uncertainty, and guilt.
Three and one half years later, my two sweet girls are sleeping comfortably in their beds. The little people they have become. They are...
incredible
amazing
beautiful
perfect
little girls. Each with a personality all her own, my two miracles are here and thriving. By looking at them, no one would ever suspect their tiny beginnings.
Juliana Faith and Mia Therese, you are my world, the loves of my life. Each day I see your little faces smiling back at me, I somehow love you more than the day before, when even that seemed impossible. I have so very many hopes and dreams for you both. I have no doubt that He has the most perfect plan for you both.
Happy 3 1/2 my sweet girls...
