So close...

One. More. Day.

That's all.

Just one more day and we will have reached a HUGE milestone in this pregnancy that almost wasn't.

And yet, I know as soon as my little countdown calendar flips to the "24 weeks, 0 days" page, the hugeness of the goal attained will be immediately overshadowed by how small it really is in the grand scheme of things.

Once Wednesday passes, the next 23 days are filled with mini-milestones:

24wk1d - First trip to L&D with the girls for "not feeling quite right." I was monitored for an hour, checked for amniotic fluid, fFN done, and cervix checked manually. All was fine and I was sent home.

24wk3d - Again...just not feeling right. I couldn't put my finger on it, but something felt wrong. I went to see my OB and during the ultrasound, had back-to-back-to-back contractions...which I never felt. I was sent to the hospital and admitted. Steroid shots were given.

24wk5d - I was released in the morning, but had an appointment with my peri that afternoon. He checked my cervix and it was, well, down to the nubs. He said I needed to go right back to the hospital because he was admitting me again.

26wk5d - Cervix gone...funneled to the stitch. Nothing left, but a piece of 5mm thread holding my babies in.

27wk2d - The girls are born.

And to top it all off, today I've noticed a LOT more irritability...a LOT more contractions. Nothing that is putting up the red flag just yet...OK, well, maybe the flag is pink, but I'm not headed to L&D just yet.

Still, I'm on watch. I'm paying attention to every little twinge, cramp, contraction, pain, etc. I'm used to feeling like this on Saturday before my shot on Sunday, but not on Monday right AFTER my shot on Sunday. Hmph.

The good thing was my cervix check went great last Thursday and my cervix was actually up a bit to 3.6cm. And because it had ranged from 3.4-3.8cm this whole pregnancy, my peri seems to think that it really hasn't budged and the slight difference in measurements has more to do with the varied angles during the ultrasound and where he decides to put the start and finish cursors that measure the length.

I just hope it's not changing as we speak.

My OB appointment the same day was uneventful and very routine. I was even given homework...questions to think about.

If it is a boy, will we circumcise?

Are we planning to take a labor/birthing class?

Would we like to take a tour of Labor and Delivery?

Will we bank cord blood or cord tissue?

Mostly, the questions led to more questions for me. I mean, we've never discussed HOW we planned to get the baby out if we went to term or close to it. I've always assumed c-section, but clearly I need to talk with my doctors about that.

A tour? Um, no thank you. I lived there for 4 weeks and don't care to go back until I NEED to be there.

The other questions we are currently discussing.

I go back to the peri on 12/27 for a cervix check and growth scan of the baby and then on 12/30 for an OB visit. Both docs now want to see me every 2 weeks, probably for the duration. Most women don't start biweekly OB visits until 28 weeks...but lucky me, I get to start them at 23 weeks with my OB. Trust me, I'm NOT complaining one bit. Just so thankful that he "gets" me and how fast things can go from good to bad. He also said that if I so much as think something might be up, I am to just go straight to the hospital and "we will sort it all out when we both get there."

I'm just praying that I don't need to see these doctors before my scheduled appointments, but...I am thinking I might have to go in a little earlier than planned.

Please, please, please...let things settle down.

Please.

Wake me when...

Ok, ok, OKAY! I'm late, I know...but it's amazing how busy one can get when doing a whole lot of nothing. Well, I'm actually doing a lot in terms of filing, organizing, cleaning out...and of course, online shopping which I am REALLY good at. ;)

21wk2d today...and for the moment (notice, I said MOMENT), 24 weeks seems attainable and not too far off, especially when you consider its 20 days away. But trust me, in most other moments, I feel like I'll be holding my breath for the next 3 weeks (well, next 6 weeks). I had an appointment with my peri yesterday and I was really worried about my cervix and how it had "responded" to the last three weeks of uterine "activity."

There was the irritability caused by a bladder infection...which I found out about after getting food poisoning/the stomach flu and becoming dehydrated...which led to more irritability and contractions...which really have been more frequent overall despite having recovered from both. I still have noticeably good days and bad days.

A bad day is pretty much filled with crampiness and random contractions, but nothing that sends up a red flag and warrants a phone call. Still, I'm always close to making the call...with the number punched in, ready to hit 'call'.

But my good days are great and I can be up and about and really acting normal. I just have to listen to my body and when the cramps start, I need to drink water and lay down for a while. Thankfully, it usually does the trick and calms everything down.

The appointment went well. The baby is looking great and even cooperated for a moment giving us a couple 3D images...though they are very difficult to make out. This little one just doesn't like his/her picture taken and has hands in front of face all the time. The baby is breech, but I think s/he was head down the other day and low because I looked like I was only 10 weeks pregnant! My cervix is still behaving (shockingly). The measurement was down a bit from last time...3.5cm. Actually, he got 3.4 and 3.5, so we are going with the longer measurement, but in all honesty...I didn't want to see it below 3.5cm and that fact his first measurement was shorter, made me a little disappointed. It's right there and is still looking "like a normal cervix." But I just don't buy it.

Not. One. Bit.

With the girls, my cervix was all over the map:

11wk3d - 1.9cm, 1cm dilated

15wk5d - 2.5cm

18wk5d - 1.8cm

22wk5d - 2.7cm

24wk5d - 1.8cm: 2mm and funneled to stitch, 1.6cm below stitch

26wk5d - funneled to stitch, nothing below stitch either

27wk2d - dilated to 2cm (with the stitch in) when the decision was made to deliver the girls

So far with this pregnancy, we've been:

11wk5d - 3.0cm? (don't really know b/c it was done on an ancient ultrasound machine)

16wk2d - 3.7cm

18wk1d - 3.8cm

21wk1d - 3.5cm

23wk1d - ????

So I guess we will see. It's mostly a mental game at this point. To think that 3 weeks from now I would receive steroid shots to help mature the girls' lungs and brains. AND that 6 weeks from now I would deliver them 3 months early. If I can get past these hurdles, I feel like anything will be a success. We've joked about it before, but I would really just prefer to be hung upside-down in a hospital room for the next 6 weeks with constant monitoring so I know what is going on at all times.

You know the Green Day song, "Wake Me When September Ends"?

Well, wake me folks when 2010 ends. At that point I'll be pushing 26 weeks. In fact, while we're at it, wake me when it's Valentine's Day. By then I'll be 32+ weeks (I know, keep dreaming girlfriend).

I will be having checks every 2 weeks for the next couple months, mostly because I am worry-wart and don't trust my cervix as far as I can throw it. My peri just laughed because he thinks it's doing great. At least he is humoring me. So on the 16th I have TWO appointments...OB in the morning and peri in the afternoon.

Again, wake me when 2010 ends...