The latest

I am happy to say that today is ending on a much better note than it started on.

When I woke up this morning, my OB greeted me with a rather somber tone...which is very unlike the man he is, typically upbeat, optimistic, old school, liberal, relaxed in his approach.

He sat down by my bed and said, "Baby is doing fabulous, thank heavens for that. Our goal here is to give you that steroid shot at noon, do the fFN test in the afternoon, and hope that we can squeeze 28 more hours out of this pregnancy."

As if that wasn't hard enough to swallow, his last sentence as he walked out the door was, "I'm not going to make any grim predictions...but I think we're looking at delivery soon, unless we see some dramatic changes for the better."

And that was that.

GULP.

The steroid shot came at noon and ouch, it's a doozy. It's not that I don't like shots, well, not like I really DO, but when you receive up to 4 shots per day for weeks on end...shots just aren't that big of a deal until someone different does it. I'm used to the quick dart method, but man, these nurses are not so into that. Instead, it's the slow push in method and I just about wanted to turn around and do it myself!

My uterus has thankfully been very quiet, but just before the shot, I had one really good contraction...one that was about a minute long and took my breath away. I received the shot about 10 minutes later and proceeded to have 3 more contractions spaced about 5 minutes apart. I was really worried it was the start of something, but a quick trip to the ladies room and a roll to the left side did the trick and kept things quiet for another 4 hours or so. It seems my body is having about 1 contraction have 2-4 hours which is not labor.

Still, they are watching and waiting.

Contractions are what typically cause the pressure that allows the cervix to change. In my case, my cervix is changing without the contractions. My OB said the pressure of the baby who is quickly running out of room in my heart-shaped uterus is causing the changes and contractions will only make it worse. Right now, Baby Lewis is head down and tucked in the left horn of my bicornuate uterus. S/he did manage to flip head down in the last couple weeks, so there is room...but the right side is still completely empty and unfortunately very difficult for the baby to get to.

A few hours after the shot I had the fetal FibroNectin test done...yeeeeOUCH. That's all I'm gonna' say people. Read up on the method used and you will understand WHY it hurts so much ladies. Fortunately, I won't have another for 2 weeks...if the negative result we received truly means that I will NOT go into labor in the next 2 weeks.

That is, unless I am in the 1% category for which the test is invalid.

Ha, ha, HA...right?

My OB stopped in a little later and said he was very pleased at the test result and plans to assess me tomorrow or Sunday via internal exam to see if there are any changes, for better or worse. Fortunately the nurse who did the fFN test noted she did not see any signs of blood, discharge, mucus plug, and my cervix was closed.

There is a chance that if the contractions stay away, I might be moved to the 4th floor Ante/Postpartum unit for monitoring...either for the duration of the pregnancy OR until things take a turn for the worse OR until things stabilize enough to send me home on strict bedrest.

My peri came by after my OB and said he wants to do another vaginal ultrasound on Monday or Tuesday to see what is going on from inside and do a growth scan of the baby to see where s/he is at in terms of development. He is thinking that will all of the information from the tests, internal exams, and ultrasounds, they will have a pretty good picture of what is going on and the course of action to take.

So it appears that I will be here until at least Monday, possibly Tuesday. But maybe, just maybe, HOME after that...if I am still pregnant. Which trust me, I so hope and pray to be.

Not being home is hard...harder for such different reasons than when I was in the hospital when I was pregnant with the girls. Back then I missed my doggies and my husband.

Now I miss all of that...and my girls. And while I know my doggies miss me, and so does my amazing husband, our girls are having a hard time. Bedtime is our thing...our time together.

We have a wonderful routine and it's something I think the girls and I look forward to each and every night. Daddy doesn't quite enjoy it as much as I do...but he's on the fast track now.

It starts with getting ready for bed, cleaning up, brushing hair, brushing teeth, then getting into bed. The girls choose 1-2 books each and we read for about 20 minutes. After reading is singing time...their favorite lullabies and other quiet songs. Then it's our prayers. And finally our whispered "I love you's" and "Goodnights." All the while, their little heads rest on each shoulder and I stroke their hair. After the goodnights, they will usually roll to the opposite side and doze off in a matter of minutes, as I rub their backs. It's our snuggle time. Our mommy/daughter time without any distractions...and though it's a process that takes a good 45 minutes from start to finish...

...I cherish it.

So far I've had two nights without it and how hard it is. It's different than going away for a night to a hotel...I'm in the hospital which comes with fears and unknowns. The girls don't understand why I cannot be at home...why I am not coming home today...why I have to stay. We try to explain, but ultimately, they just want me there and trust me...I want to be there more than anything.

But daddy is there and doing an amazing job. Tonight Juliana had a very hard time falling asleep, so they called me and together, daddy and I put her to sleep. We sang our songs (and of course, I couldn't get through the last sentence of "You Are My Sunshine" without bawling my eyes out and having to put the phone down. Daddy came to the rescue and together we talked her to sleep.

He is pretty incredible...which reminds me, it's time for my bedtime phone call...so he can talk me down and to sleep.

I will update more as I know it, but for now, keep the prayers, positive thoughts, and good vibes coming...clearly they are working and we are so incredibly grateful for the overwhelming support.

With much love...