Treading

It's kinda' how we feel right now...like we are treading water, just barely keeping our heads above the surface. To say we are "tired" is a bit of an understatement and doesn't really quite tap into just how sleep deprived we both are. 

And we don't even have Allessandra home with us.

But still, we are on a newborn schedule. I am pumping breastmilk every 2 1/2 to 3 hours. Considering it takes about 5 minutes to set up, 40 minutes to pump, then 5 minutes to clean up, it doesn't leave much time until we do it all over again. Add to that Robert's work schedule. Add to THAT, twice daily trips to and from Burbank for two 3+ hour visits. Add to THAT, juggling the girls. Trust me, it's exhausting. I know it's perfect preparation for Alle's eventual homecoming...but honestly, I really think it will be so much easier to just have her here and not 35 miles away.

As for our lil miss, Alle is doing fabulous...mostly. She is gaining weight like a champ and is now 5 pounds, 4 ounces (which was MY birth weight. It's hard to believe I came home at a super light 5 pounds after a 1 week NICU stay). Alle had been making BIG daily gains and then slowed down a bit this past weekend, gaining 10-15 grams a night, then staying the same weight for two days. On Tuesday morning, the nurse informed me that she suddenly gained a whopping 175 grams...um, that's like SIX ounees, IN ONE DAY! Something seemed off and to her nurse, Alle looked a little "puffy" in her legs, feet, and toes. I had noticed the same "puffiness" in her fingers (of all places) the day before, but didn't think much of it. In fact, I remember thinking how strange it was that her fingers looked so much like Mia's (long and skinny) and then suddenly overnight they were like Juliana's (short and not so skinny)...in a matter of a day. Turns out she had retained some fluid and yesterday, the doctor ordered 2 doses of a diuretic to help her pee off the excess.

As of this afternoon, she had done just that, and still managed to gain an ounce overnight. Her weight gain is certainly non-issue at this point and they will most likely  discontinue the use of the high calorie formula to fortify my breastmilk. Up until now Alle has received 3 parts breastmilk to 1 part formula for each feed and she will now receive 100% mommy's milk. 

She is still nippling twice a day, but we are seeing definite progress as she has typically taken 3/4 of her bottles in the last few days. In fact, today lil miss actually finished the WHOLE bottle, all 53cc, in under 20 minutes! It wasn't graceful mind you, and full of alarms in the beginning, and desats throughout, but she did it. Congratulations my dear Allessandra, mommy will now buy you a car seat since the prospect of a homecoming is becoming more and more real!

So in the next few weeks, we have tons to do, yet the obstacles to getting everything finished still lie in the way. Sadly, the only real way to tackle any of it is to not travel to the hospital to see her...and that is so hard to just not do. While we know Alle is under the best of care, it still tugs at our heartstrings to know she is away from us, all day, every day. It's been this way for 31 days now and I'm sure we have many more. 

Praying Allessandra comes home to us soon...