Just long enough

Two years ago today, at just 24 weeks, 5 days, I was admitted to the hospital for good after going home overnight after spending the two days prior in the hospital receiving the steroid shots for the girls' lungs...just in case. Ha, ha, ha. My cervix was gone...I was fighting off an infection...having contractions I couldn't feel...praying for time...for another hour, another day, another week, another month...so the babies could have a fighting chance at life. They were tiny still, just 1 lb. and change...I was so scared I wouldn't be able to give them the time they needed.

That night was especially hard...so hard. I cried, I prayed, I cried, I prayed, I cried while praying...begging, pleading that He give us more time. Until we changed cell phone carriers recently, I had saved a message from Robert that he left at 6:00am the following morning with Keedo and Kaiya barking their "hellos" in the background and his words, "We've been praying for you and the babies all night." You see, I made him go home that night, to be with the dogs, so he could get some good sleep and go to work the next morning. But still, I remember so vividly wanting him there, wishing he could hold my hand and tell me it was all going to be okay. So I cried. And every night for the next 3 weeks would be like that. I was like a ticking time bomb...at any moment things could change and the babies would have to be delivered...which is exactly what would happen...but thankfully, it happened almost 3 weeks later.

You'll have to bear with me...these next few weeks are full of emotions and memories and it's in the quiet of the night that they come flooding back. I remember it like it was just yesterday...each day, night, emotion, prayer forever etched in my mind. I don't ever want to forget any of it. And while much of it is painful, I want to remember that, too...because it was who we were and has shaped who we are today as parents. Nothing is taken for granted...every kiss/hug is met with a tear of joy...thank God we made it just long enough...